If you were to ever receive a book, or if you ever have received a book you didn't like how would you tell the person who gave it to you you didn't like it? Would you tell the person? What if they asked you about the book? Would you tell them the truth, or would you try to find out as much about the book as possible?
I have never gotten a book that I haven't read but if I were to , or if someone were to ask me about the book, I would tell them that I hadn't gotten around to reading it yet, but as soon as I did I would tell them how I felt about the book. I might look up as much as I can about it, or read it even if it didn't appeal to me.
I'm not one to go into conflict with anyone, nor do I wish to hurt their feelings.
[question posted by SomeCowgirl]
responses and comments:
If someone gives a book, whether I like it or not, I will still be thankful that someone is giving me something. I will not tell the person that I don't like the book so that his feelings will not be hurt. I'll just receive it and if I really don't like it, I can just give it to others who are interested in it. This way, at least it will not be in vain.lol [learn2earn]
I agree I don't like disappointing anyone when they are truly just trying to be gifting.. Books are probably the hardest thing to find for anyone as just because the person loves to read doesn't mean they like to read all genres or all authors. I think the best thing to do is to figure out what their favorite author is. I agree with giving the book to someone else, but you have to be careful who you give it to as the person who you give it to might know the person who gave it to you.. or may tell even if you ask them not to! javascript:__doPostBack('ctl00$cphMainContent$lbStart','') [SomeCowgirl]
I think it would be ungrateful to complain about it. I receive a lot of books as gifts, I always thank the person and try to read it. I think to myself, why did this person get this for me? I can usually figure it out by reading it why they gave it to me. [laglen]
I don't like complaining about it myself. I agree that reading it would probably give insight as to why they gave it as a gift. I appreciate the response! [SomeCowgirl]
My mother is an expert to give me useful things. But one thing that she canīt buy,is books. Our taste on books are so different. So itīs a big pain,every time she send me a book. I canīt put it in my book-case,beacuse I have no place for new books. So I send it back to her [ennasus59]
Perhaps I harm her. But what shall i do? I always trý to read the book. And as I rote,I have no place for more books in my book-case. [ennasus59]
If I received a book as a gift, I'll simply say thank you and be grateful for the gesture. Since I'm a reader, I'll probably end up reading it. If later I'm ask whether I like it or not, I'll simply give an honest opinion. Whether I like the story or not will not affect the thoughtfulness of my friend's gesture. A gift is a gift, and for me, its the thought that counts. [wayz12]
I appreciate the response but I don't think you understood my question. I was asking if they asked you what the book was about, but you had not read it because you didn't think you'd like it, by reading the back of the book. Honest Mistake. [SomeCowgirl]
I don't think I would mention not liking the book to the person who gave it to me. Not unless there was something offensive about the book. A book is a very personal thing for me, I always want to know why a person thought of that book for me, so if there is a misunderstanding about the offensive thing in the book I might talk with them about it. But I would still be very grateful for having recieved a gift. [makingpots]
I would wonder why anyone would buy a book that was kind of offensive, and I'd want to know why. Sometimes I don't think people really know that it is offensive, they just buy a book they think you'll like. Often this happens with people who don't read. A whole author's collection could have offensive materials, and well, if they are a best seller that would be the first choice. I don't think I'd like to mention to anyone that I didn't like the book either, I wouldn't want to hurt anyone's feelings. I appreciate the response. [SomeCowgirl]
I guess I'll tell the truth, not to hurt anyone's feeling, but if he/she is my friend, I'll let her know that I don't really like this kind of book. I find cheating a friend is not a good thing to do. To tell him/her the truth, so that he/she can know me better. [kaka135]
I can understand if they have a habit of giving you books for holidays, that it's only best to tell the truth. I don't think I could do so in a hurtful manner, and I would try to maybe compile a short list of books I like, by either author or genre. I wouldn't make it a long list, and I wouldn't actually give them the list, just have it as say a cue card so that I can tell them that "hey, I don't like that genre" I appreciate the response. Happy Holidays! Happy Mylotting! [SomeCowgirl]
Very few times I recieve books I donīt like. My friends know exactly which books I like because we trade ours. But last year, an aunt of mine gave me a book for my bithday. She doesnīt usually give me presents but I donīt know what got into her then. I thanked her very much and gave it a quick reading after which I decided that I was right to have a prejudism against that author. I never told my aunt of course. But I hope she doesnīt give me another book. If she does, Iīll tell her that I already have it and may I change it.lol [atacamaval]
I think that telling her that you already own the book is a better way then to keep a book you'll never read. Now if she gives you a book from the same author I would just say something like "I have all the books by this author" and maybe a "I'm not too fond of the author" something that will let her know without hurting her feelings. Maybe your aunt enjoyed the book and thought you might as well! I appreciate the response! [SomeCowgirl]
Any friend who would give me a book, knows me well enough to know what I like and don't like. I am pretty picky about what I read and most of my good friends are familiar with my book interests. If I were to be given a book by a friend, in a genre that I read, if I didn't like it, I'd probably not say anything unless they asked. If they did, I'd do my best to find things within it that I did at least appreciate. There is always something. I would also make myself read the whole thing, even though normally if I don't like a book, I don't make it through. If for any reason someone gave me a book in a genre that I didn't normally read, I guess I would give it a chance, out of courtesy and hope that I could find enough about it that I could tell them about if they asked. [itsmefaith]
I kind of forgot that normally there's at least something, and even sometimes if you don't like the first book in say a series, the next is even better. I'm glad you would read it even if you don't like it, just to be courteous and to give it a chance. I don't think I could, I mean, I've read books that I was forced to read, and I've given books I didn't think I'd like a second chance, so I suppose I would... I appreciate the response . Happy Holidays . [SomeCowgirl]
Psh.... people don't give me books unless I ask for them. I'm the one who gives books as presents LOL But I think if someone had the insight required to give me a book, provided it wasn't a Harlequin romance (because that would be a clear sign they know me not at all) I'd be grateful. I have a six foot tall bookcase completely full of books that I have collected, mostly, over the past four years (some are relics from college but most are relatively new), if I piled up the ones I still haven't read they would probably come up to at least my waist, so what's one more? :) [crimsonladybug]
Your a smart one then, or the gifters are. I think that's the best way to go unless say they lived with you, and then well I would hope they would know the genre of books you like. I know what my fiance's mom is a fan of, now when she gets a new author that's when my fiance and I have to wonder if she likes the author. You sure have a lot of books, I'm just starting out. I had a few more then I do now, but I left them at a friend's house a few years ago, and the friend's mom left them outside... I appreciate the response! Happy HolidayS! [SomeCowgirl]
I really had to think on this one because I don't know that I have ever received a book as a gift. Perhaps when I was a kid. My husband and/or kids have given me the odd book but usually it is something I asked them to get for me. I think today it is much easier to give a gift card for a book store than to buy an actual book. People have such varying tastes, and whose to know whether they haven't already read the book that you have bought them? It is much easier to give gift cards now and let people choose the books they want. I borrowed a book from a friend awhile ago and she keeps asking me about it. I have told her I haven't gotten around to reading it yet. I have hundreds of books in my house that I have yet to read and I keep bringing more home! She asked me about the book this week and told me to give it back to her until I was ready to read it. So... I decided to start reading it. LOL! I would always attempt to read any book that is given to me. I won a book from a writing website about a year ago. When I got the book I thought, "What the heck is this about?" I really didn't think I would like it, wasn't sure I would read it. But I did and I was pleasantly surprised. If you are given a book and you don't even attempt to read it, you really don't know what you are missing unless you try. I have gotten (purchased or borrowed from the library) books by authors I haven't heard of but was going to meet in person so thought I'd better read something they wrote. I've haven't been disappointed yet! [patgalca]
If I were to get a gift card, I COULD spend hours browsing the book store or online, but I usually have something in mind that I have been looking forward to... or at least favourite authors. [patgalca]
Well, I have yet to receive a book I don't like. Usually if anyone would to give me a book, they would ask me for my preferred genre or author. However, should I receive a book I don't like - I would most probably skim through, get the gist of what the book is about, so that if someone were to ask me about the book, I can at least say something about it! [lazeebee]
That's a smarter thing to do if'n your not going to read it. I know that I would do the same thing, but after all these repsonses I've been getting, I think I've been guilted into the next time I receive a book, reading it even If I don't think I'd like it. Glad you have friends and family who know what to give ya! Have a wonderful time mylotting! Happy Holiday Season! I appreciate the response! [SomeCowgirl]
I would feel terrible if someone tell me that she/he didn't like the present/gift that i gave to him/her... so my answer would be no... its a lie but with a good intention, and that is not to hurt his/her feeling... being frank like 'Sorry, i didn't like you gift.' is a right thing you had the freedom of speech... but for me, I don't do that and I never did that for 23 years even once... see yah! [howardskip]
I don't think I could be so honest for fear of hurting another's feelings as well. They say honesty's the best policy, but what they don't know won't hurt them. As long as you say thank you for the gift, then there's no reason to go back and say "oh but I didn't like it." The last few responses I've received have made me think that I should atleast read it, it's true though, opens you up to a whole new genre, broadens the mind and imagination. I appreciate the response! Happy Holidays! [SomeCowgirl]
i havn't received a gift-book,but i think if i encounter this situation,i'll find other things to transfer the topic.i want hurt their feelings too. [qiqiwonder]
so you would change the subject? Well I suppose that's another way to go about it, but then again how long before they ask you again? They might wait until another day or later on. I guess then you'd have to say that you appreciate the gift but haven't gotten around to reading it... even that could make them think..... I appreciate the response and Happy Holidays! [SomeCowgirl]
No i will not be able to say the person who gifted me that i do not like this. it will be rude from my part. rather i will try to read it as much as i can [subha12]
After reading a lot of the responses, I would have to say that I agree with you. It's better to read it as you never know , it might just be an interesting book after all. I appreciate the response! [SomeCowgirl]
When someone give you a gift-book, accept it and say "Thank you!",that is right and a show of courtesy.And I think most people will do like that,so do I.Though there are no gifts(including books) I have received that I didn't like at all,I will still cheefully accept a gift-book I don't like.Maybe I will read the book well,and know why did he/she choose this book for me.Does he/she really know me ,or want to tell me something,such as if I should change myshelf in some place,or that is just a joke? But in any case,when I receive gifts,that means there is still someone remember me. [connieconstance]
I try not to be rude and will not be rude intentionally. I'll most likely lie to save the person from being hurt. I appreciate the response! [SomeCowgirl]
Tough question, but I think I'd do the same thing as you would do. I'd tell them that I haven't read it yet and then read the synopsis online or if I really have time, I'd browse the book without reading it in details so that when they ask again, I know what to say. [ailema4ever]
Yes, some books can be surprising...so it's true that we shouldn't judge a book by its cover HI HI HI HI HI... THANKS!!!! GLAD you like my avatar! ;-D [ailema4ever]
Well,my friend gave me one which I am reading for years.Not it is interesting ,but is very boring.Even then I used to read if time permits.Honestly I told my friend the same. [srganesh]
I am glad that you were honest. Have a wonderful day! [SomeCowgirl]
I would not tell them, I would probably try to read it anyway I guess there is a possibility that I may even like it. If they asked me about it then I would say that it was not what I normally read but I would read it anyway. I hate the thought that I could hurt someones feelings by telling them that I did not like a gift that they had spent time on choosing. [gemini_rose]
I think that now I would do the same. IT is better to just read it, especially if you could possibly like it, and never know that's a good read. Oh yes, and I do think this discussion has taught us a lesson about book giving. [SomeCowgirl]
Hi SomeCowgirl, Well, a gift is what someone gives it to you to express their care towards, no matter you like it or not, they might have a feel that you like this book, your character might have reflected they while buying the book! I feel it is really bad to express them as "I don't like this book!" Well, have it, though you read it or not, keep it with their affection :) Cheers and regards, forcashksd [forcashksd]
After a lot of different responses, I've realized now, as I think a few other people have, that it's better to read it no matter what, as you never know if you like it or not. It's true that the thought is what counts! I appreciate the response [SomeCowgirl]
I love to read. And I would probably tell them as much as I could about it and thank them for it. Then I would pass it on to someone else that might enjoy it. I see no point in criticizing it to only hurt the givers feelings. And everyone has different interests so surely I could pass it on. [fasttalker]
Very true, not one person has the exact same interests. Passing it on to another person would be one way of finding a reader for the book. I think now though, that I would give the book a chance! I appreciate the response! [SomeCowgirl]
Regarding this kind of gift I have no problems as I can digest every kind of books I receive. If I find them good I read them again and if I do not like then I do not repeat and pledge myself not to buy of that type. But somehow I never tell the giver whether I liked it or not. [sunita64]
I am glad that you can read a book no matter if it suits your tastes or not. It shows discipline. I appreciate the response. [SomeCowgirl]
a gift is a gift, i just accept it, then read it or not, that's depend on me... maybe just keep it tightly in closet waiting for the right moment to read... i believe on day it will come huhu lol [germany_fan]
True, a book you might not like at the time, may be a good read later when your interests change! I appreciate the response! [SomeCowgirl]
Fortunately for me, my friends and relatives know the kinds of books I like and the authors I read regularly. Also fortunately for me, when I've been given a gift by people who doesn't know me as well but know that I'm an avid reader, they've been smart enough to get a gift certificate for a bookstore for me. happy [kenzie45230]
glad to know you've got smart friends and acquaintances! I appreciate the responses. [SomeCowgirl]
If I get a book from anyone as a gift I feel very happy.I use to go through the book and tell the prsson the good and bad side of that book.I never forget the person who gave me the book.I consider book as the best gift. [bhanusb]
I am glad that you enjoy reading books, and I must agree that they are a very good gift indeed! I appreciate the responses. [SomeCowgirl]
Once Christmas my nephew gave me two books of cartoons..Calvin & Hobbs and Dilbert. Neither of which I am a fan of. So, I said thank you and a couple of days later took them to Barnes & Noble and returned them. Got a book I would enjoy. I did not tell him I did that. We do not live in the same state, so it was not as if he would come over and see I did not have them on my book shelf. [Marie5656]
I was wondering if anyone was going to mention a receipt - indirectly or otherwise, as you've done it indirectly. I kind of forgot about receipts myself until now, but yes sometimes you get receipts for the presents, usually because you don't live close so if it don't fit, or if you already got it, you can take it back to the nearest store. Glad you found a book you'd enjoy though! [SomeCowgirl]
well u can always gift wrap it again n fwd it to some1 they [the ppl who sent u the book] dont knw or u can sell it online or 2nd hand book shops [thecrazyjogger]
Sometimes it could be from someone who knows you, but doesn't know you that well. Family tends to think of books they like, and figure you like them as well. Giving a crappy book back? That's like making trouble for someone who hasn't made trouble. [SomeCowgirl]
This is a pretty good discussion and I am sure there are a lot of people out there who have gotten a book as a gift,especially people who really enjoy reading and it is one of their favorite hobbies or one of the things they rather do with their spare time instead of watching television or doing things like that,and I am sure there are people who have gotten book as a present that they did not like either because they read the synopsis of the book,or because they read the book and realized it is not their type of book,and I am sure that different people go about it in different ways,some people probably tell the person nicely that they did not like it,or some people might just bluntly come out and say they hated the book,while others might not even say anything because they do not want to hurt someones feelings so instead just keep the book,to see if maybe they could get into it at a later time,and I can understand why a person would or would not say they did not like it because I do not think anyone really likes hurting someone elses feelings especially when it comes to their family members,and I have never gotten a book as a gift or at least not one that I ever remember,because I have never really been into reading other than mystery books like the Clue books,or now we are into a series of book by Vilhelm Moberg which is about a group of Swedish emigrants who emigrate with their families to North America in search for better lives in the 1850's ,and we also are waiting to read a book called A Tale of Luck by Willie Nelson which looks like it would be a good book,but if I ever did get a book as a gift that I did not think I would like I would at least read the synopsis of the book,and maybe the first couple pages to see if the book was any good,and then if I did not like it I would probably not tell the person,but if they asked me about the book I would probably say that I am not sure if it is my type but I am going to read more from it later to keep from hurting their feelings because I do not like hurting anyone's feelings because I do not think it is the right thing to do to another person,I love you with all my heart and soul. [hellcowboy]
I am glad that you think that it is better to not tell the truth then to tell the truth and risk hurting the feelings of the one you love. I am glad you would not hurt the feelings of the person to whom bought you (or us) the gift. I love you with all of my heart and soul, baby! [SomeCowgirl]