A Child called "It" by Dave Pelzer. This book is one of the best books I have ever read. Dave Pelzer was brutally abused by his emotionaly unstable, alcoholic mother and although he came very close to dying he never let his mother destroy his spirit.
Dave has to learn to play his mother's "games" in order to survive and these games were his mother's weapon against the boy she no longer classified as her child but just a nobody. An "IT"
If you never read another book in your lifetime I would strongly reccommend "A Child Called It" to be the book you can't afford to miss. 180 pages of spine chilling abusive behaviour that Dave somehow manages to survive. Read with him and maybe you can share the tiniest glimpse into the life of a severely abused boy whom nobody loved.
FYI ... in 1993 Dave was nominated as one of the Ten Outstanding Young Americans and in 1994 he was the only American to be honored as one of the Ten Outstanding Young Persons of the World. This outstanding young man was also selected as a Torchbearer for the 1996 Olympic Torch Relay
A child Called "IT" is one of the most inspirational books I have ever read. Once you pick it up you wont want to put it down.
HUGZ from Kitten1954
[question posted by kitten1954]
responses and comments:
yea that book made me sad. so did his other ones. some scenes in it were just so sad and when you think omg this REALLY happened. i had to put the book down for awhile and collect myself. but it is a really good book. and i would recomend it [dementia88]
It is hard to imagine that this type of activity really happens. How can a mother treat her own flesh and blood in that way. This is the first book I have read by Dave Pelzer but I am going to be on the lookout for more. HUGZ from Kitten1954 [kitten1954]
I read it a number of years ago, and yes, it was a very riveting book. So very sad, but very eye-opening. [Ldyjarhead]
I have just finished reading it, my daighter has read it too and I am reading it aloud to my hubby as he's not much of a bookworm. An excellant read. HUGZ from Kitten1954 [kitten1954]
I can't bear to think about or read about children being abused. I know it happens but it just makes me cringe and I can't read that book. I have to admit I skipped around your post as soon as I saw "child" and "abuse". I know people survive these things but there's enough pain that we see everyday without reading about it. I'm glad you got something positive from the book, though. [dragon54u]
Thank you for your response and your honesty. I can completely understand your abhorrence toward child abuse as a survivor myself. I took from this book the childs's amazing and incomprehensible will to survive. HUGZ from Kitten1954 [kitten1954]
OMG! How could a mother do that to her child!? I won't be able to read it. I will be haunted for the rest of my life. I just can't take in this kind of hate and violence against children. I am the same way about animals.. I can't handle reading or seeing or even hearing of the horrific things human beings are capable of. I am so glad that this man survived. I wonder what his relationship is with his mother now. I hope she is rotting in hell for what she has done. [OreoCookie3]
She certainly deserves to be doesn't she. HUGZ from Kitten1954 [kitten1954]
No i have not read the book yet but your discussion about it has surely raised my eagerness to read the book. there are very few people in life who can overcome all problems and torture and still be standing high. thank you for raising this discussion atleast i got to know of a really nice book to read which would motivate me. [SangsTurks]
I read this book years ago. There is a sequel to it, but I can't remember the title of the book right now. If you look it up on Amazon or something, you should find it. I have read both books. Both books are absolutely amazing, and it is unbelieveable the stuff that he had to put up with, and that he came out of it emotionally intact too. He grew up to be an absolutely amazing man. [danishcanadian]
Hi kitten1954! I think I remember someone mentioning the title of that book to me but never get around telling me what it is all about. I am curious of his life now that you share it with us. I will be looking for that book and I know that this will add more perspective in my understanding about other people's life. I am very much glad to know that he has survived his ordeals and sufferings and I do hope and pray that he will have more blessings and strength. I admire courageous and strong people like him. Thanks for sharing this my friend. Take care always..God Bless! [faith210]
Hi mummymo! I am so happy to see you around. I have missed you so much. haha..I have forgotten that it was you who mentioned it to me. That is alright, I am going to have a trip in the bookstore this coming weekend and I am going to look for that book. I would really love to read it but I am not really looking forward for the heartbreak, luckily for me the heartbreak will be bearable knowing that he has overcome it all and has succeeded in life. I would really love it more if he will succeed much, much more and will have many, many more blessings. Take care always dear friend...Give my kisses to Niall and Niamh! God Bless you always. [faith210]
I'm pretty familiar with the book, but I chose not to read it. It's one of those books whose subject matter is too difficult for me. Abuse by your biological mother is just too painful to think about, and even though, I'm very much aware that he survive in the end, I still cannot pick the book and read it. I read to escape reality, and child abuse is too "real" for me to handle. Some of my students would read it, and I would allow them, too, as long as I warned them and their parents what the book is all about. [wayz12]
wow, sounds really emotional and deep!! thanks for the tip, am going to get it! [playmateshorty]
No but I did see David on Oprah and I was deeply disturbed by what his mother did to him. I don't think I could handle reading it. [thelastwolf113]
It is a very good book and your right, i was never able to put it down. I read the book and finished it within a matter of about 6 hours. I cried countless times through that book. I was just shocked that a mother would treat there child that bad. For the stuff he went through it's surprising he's not a living wreck today, but he's not. To live through that, over come it and be happy with your life is indeed an accomplishment. [MissGia]
Yeah I too read this book, in fact I still have it and I cried when I read it. Sometimes I actually had to stop reading for a bit to gather myself it was so emotional for me. It is very inspirational though in that fact that it proves anyone can over come anything if they keep their spirit in the right place. There is actually a sequel to that book, it's called "The Lost Boy". Then he wrote "A Man named Dave". All of which are great inspirational books of his journey through life and the things he dealt with. I recommend them all. [kblakley]
I have not got a chance to read this book although my husband has and he said it was a good book. I'm having trouble finding a store that has the book cause I would like to read it. I am the type of person that likes to read books that are based on true storys about children who stuggle to make it through life and that do make it and survive to be a stronger person. Well I'm borrowing this one book from my mom called the Ghost Girl which is based on a true story about a girl that never spoked or did much until a teacher helped her open up. The teacher is the one who writes these books. She has other ones where she helped other trouble kids out. [Seppy1984]
Hello my friend kitten1954 Ji, I have just gone through cursory look on internet as below :- Dave Pelzer was the second born of five children. His father was a fireman and, according to Dave, his mother was originally a loving, kind and wonderful person that would do anything for her family. After the abuse started, Dave could tell what kind of day he could expect to have by the way his mother was dressed. If she was all made up then he could expect a good day, but if she wasn't he knew he would be beaten and starved. The book describes the worsening abuse that Pelzer suffered at the hand of his mother and her alcoholism. Most speculate that she had some other addiction or a chemical imbalance but none is known. Among the many incidents discussed is that his mother attempted to burn Dave on a stove when he was 8 years old. It was at this point his mother began to make him go without food for extended periods of time. The abuse gets worse and David is forced to sleep in the cellar and perform hard labor. He got an average of half a meal a day on a good day. When David was 10, she also stabbed him in the stomach—accidentally, as Pelzer notes in the book—and did not take him to the hospital (though she did take care of the wound herself). By this point he was no longer considered part of the family and lived in the basement, denied basic contact, play, and food. His mother stated that she did not want Dave to interact with "her family". Over time the depth of the abuse worsened. Dave claimed he was forced to sit in the "prisoner of war" position (head bent backwards facing sky, sitting on hands). His mother stopped using his name and began referring to him first as "The Boy" and finally "It". The punishments are reported to have evolved into "sick games" in which she made her son suffer. Incidents cited in the book include forcing ammonia down his throat, cleaning a sealed bathroom while inhaling the fumes from a bucket of ammonia mixed with Bleach (Gas Chamber), inducing vomiting followed by forced ingestion, smashing his face against a mirror while forcing him to say "I'm a bad boy", beating him with a rubber hose, lying in the bathtub naked with freezing water for hours, rubbing his face in his baby brother's soiled diaper trying to make him eat his youngest brother's feces, as well as starvation and general malnutrition, and "accidentally" stabbing him with a knife when he didn't meet the time limit to do the dishes. In each of the sequels, the author reveals more forms of torture he did not describe in this book (e.g., his mother hitting his neck with a broom handle, causing his neck to swell so that he was unable to breathe). Initially the abuse did not happen when his father was around. But when David entered first grade for the second time, the abuse began to occur even in his fathers' presence. At first he tried to stop the abuse but as time went on felt unable to intervene. David generally only got food when his father was home, for example. In the face of this abuse, his father gradually distanced himself from the house, and finally moved out when David turned 12. About two months later, on March 5th, 1973 David was rescued by teachers at his school. It has generated peculiar curiosity to read and I have decided to read in next time available. have a nice time. [chintoo07]
An excellent review of this book my friend. Thank you for taking the time to search this out. The book is a well worth the time taken to read it. Anyone who can say that abuse is something that never really happens or that it has no long term effects has not taken the time to read this book. HUGZ from Kitten1954 [kitten1954]
I have read it. I have also read "The Lost Boy" and "A Man named Dave" also by Dave Pelzer. All were good books. I recommend all three. [lilybug]
I read that book years ago, its amazing what some kids go thru and survive. It breaks your heart to know that children go thru things like this. I will never understand how something like this can happen. [Polly1]
I started to read it, and decided it was too disturbing. I come from an abusive background myself, and I just can't handle it. But it is amazing that he was able to overcome such horrific abuse and become such an amazing adult. Kelly [kelly3]
Yes, it was a very moving and heart wrenching book. I read it from start to finish without putting it down. He also has a book called The Lost Boy. [alpram96]
Well, i'm touched by his strong spirit. He wants to survive strongly. And he managed! [acegirl]
It sounds fascinating, but really sad. I may have to try reading it anyway. I watched a PBS show about feral children last night. Some kids have been turned out and they live with dogs or some other animal. They take on the animal's characteritics. It is so sad the way some parents abuse their children. [getnbuy]
I will take note of this book Kitten,thank you.It sure does sound a good read. I already have a book i plan to buy,recommended by another mylotter.This one i will probably buy too.I dont buy many books at all.Thanks & have a great day. happy [LoudnProud]
I have heard a lot about it, but I still haven't read it. I will one of these days, just don't know when I'll get both the time and the willpower to actually do it. [_sketch_]
I haven't read the book, but I did see the book under the "similar books" which Amazon displays when I looked at Constance Briscoe's Ugly, also a book about a childhood spent with an abusive mother and which I loved reading. Didn't take much notice of it then though. I'll file this book away under "Books to watch out for and read" [iakulchen]
Thanks for your recommendation and introduction. [scyzyyyy]
Sorry kitten, i could never read a book like that it would upset me to much, can't read any thing about child or animals being abused. [amanda333]
well ,The book attracts me greatly,but where can i buy it in China? [bettermanly]
I just finished that series of books, there are actually three of them. They are the best books I have ever read and that man is amazing. To go through what he did and the determination that he showed really shows us that no matter what life hands us we can better ourselves and survive. I agree with you they are must read books. I bought mine off ebay all three at once and am so glad I did because once I started reading I had to keep knowing what happened next. I am thinking about buying some of his other books as well. He is truly an inspiration. [travibabiesgirl]
Read it? I used it as my bible for my own therapy! It is a truly wonderful, insightful, profound book which is very very harrowing reading but it brings to life that this boy who was sadistically beaten and punished by his own mother turns out to be a success in life. Where most of us would have given up or worse still turned out to be a sadist like their mother as some children do after years of mental cruelty, anyone would have thrown in the towel and given up totally on life but not David Pelzer, it's a wonderful turnaround how someone's life can be hell and to walk out of it with all those horrific memories and to actually forgive his mother? Well that is powerful stuff and it sort of puts your own problems into perspective! Whenever I feel real down I look at that book and think hey I never went through what David had to go through and he's such an inspiration. He has also gone and written further books, mainly self help where he focuses on his life and how he became successful and how he put all his energy into his life and career and went on to have a happy life with a loving family, it could have so easily have turned the other way! [wolfie34]
Yes, I have read this book. So you mean the author of the book is the boy in the story? really, i didn't know this. My... I admire the author then, I salute him for surviving and being strong. He was just a boy when he was maltreated. But do you know why he was the only one being maltreated by his mom, while his two brothers were not harmed, not until he was taken by the orphanage.. Why was he brutally abused by his mom? what was the reason? [knightfeith]
I read the all of his books. I thought the first one was the worst. I believe the second book was called " A Boy Named David". It is hard to believe that these horrible acts could ever be allowed to happen. Makes me appreciate my own children even more. [barbiegirl13]
I read "It" a long time ago. Just the mention of the book brought back memories of how the power of the mind can help a person overcome. The ending was powerful. I read another book a while back called The Rabbit's Howl about a woman with 27 personalities I think it was. It was because of child abuse and she developed these personalities because her mind couldn't handle it. I hope both of those people have found some kind of peace. [Nicola31245]
I have read it 2 years ago.Although this book is not one of the best book I have ever read,it set people thinking which can be the good reason to be recommended to others. [Kitzhao]
Hi!Kitten That sounds really interesting.I will look out for this book and i must read it.Thanks for sharing it with us. [biggerb]
My wife read teh whole series, and she said it was a very very compelling set of books, and very very sad that any child had to go through that, my wife thinks now adays instead of just removing one child from a home that they would remove ALL of them. I can't imagine what that man goes through every day battling what he went through in life. DM [damucci]
Yes I have read this book, and although I would not say it was the best book I had read I found it a very moving story of what had happened in this mans life. It is very inspirational and opens my eyes to the suffering of people in this world that I have absolutely no idea about. [gemini_rose]
hi friend, i read this book before 6 months. really this book make me so sad. take care. have a nice day. [vimaal]
It looks interesting from the way u describe it and i feel tempted to move on to start reading all over again.. lol =D NO matter how much i hate reading, this somehow has generate a certain interest in me, because it's about real life real story, very inspiring, especially his spirit in life ^_^ Somehow, i feel that this book can motivate my interest in reading again ^_^ hehe =D Thanks for the recommendation ^_^ [kun2349]
I found it very sad but inspiring at the same time. I read his other books too and am so glad that he 'turned out' OK. As a Mother I find it very hard to understand how anyone could treat their child like his Mother did! [Annmac]
It is such a difficult book to read, but yes I have read it. I don't understand as a mother how anyone could do that to her child!. It was so sad and painful to read. I just found it so difficult I really hated reading about the violence that mother did against her child and the neglect. [Mickie30]
Yes, I have read this book and several other books by Dave Pelzer. It is amazing how balanced they are - they have something positive to tell too, not just the abuse. They also show how the human mind can keep some level of health, even when the circumstances are awful, seen from the outside. Many people around Dave have taught him good things when he was young, the teachers, the foster parents and some friends, which has contributed to make him the person he is today. And he had the courage to do the right thing when he had the choice - he did not go back to his mother any more. Have you seen his site - http://www.davepelzer.com/ - I have not been there for a long time and found many new features there. Thanks for reminding me about this!!...happy...rolleyes [buenavida]
oh yes... i already read it and even owned the book... i read all the three books of him since he is a child, teenagers and then adults... the books really show me courage how to use bad situations to be a winner... this book really inspired me a lot to face this life with more will power and determinations as i never been in his situations ever... so i should be able to face this life in a more positive way... take care and have a nice day... [lingli_78]
wow sounds like he really climb out of a sad life to outcome the he did is something I will look into one of his books [enola1692]
I have never heard of that book my friend but it does sound like a very good book, and a book well worth reading,it sounds like it would be very inspirational and I think everyone should read that book at least once because it might help them see how good their lives are,and me and my fiance will probably look for that book the next time we are at a bookstore,thanks for telling all of us about that book,you are a very good friend. [hellcowboy]
Aww...I have in fact read that book. It is SOOOO sad what he had to go thru when he was a child. What a horrible person his mother was. Thank God a couple of his teachers figured out what was happening. I saw him on Oprah 1x talkin about that too. We also discussed & went over the story in a psychology class in college. [halynn]
First time hearing about this book and I have added it to my book list, so I will definately be trying to find it in my local book store. Thanks for sharing. [gtdonna]
I have to agree with you here Kitten! Ii first read this book quite a few years ago and I have read and reread it (and the others that followed both by himself and his brother) and feel the same pain and heartbreak that any child could be treated in such a way and then experienced the wonder and awe that he has developed into a warm, caring and productive member of society - inspiring millions of people around the world! I truly think that this book should be mandatory reading to our teens to let them see what is truly important in our lives and what they class as necessities are actually luxuries to others. My son read this book last year (he has just turned 15) and I think our copy is now with others his age who have been intrigued by what he has told them, I hope that they too are inspired by this amazing man! xxx [mummymo]
Coming from an abusive mother it is hard to survive sometimes. I still am abused at times verbally from her. I am her care giver she is in a nursing home so she cannot reach me except by phone. I do not call her, and I do not visit her unless she needs things. I had to go sign some papers at the nursing home and did not go into the room to see her. She is a lying sac of lard which lays in bed and dreams of what she can say and do to get the staff into trouble or what she can say bad about me. I admire anyone who is smart enough to learn to play the games and use them again the abuser. I was not smart enough to see through her games when I lived at home. I now know how to avoid them. [teapotmommommerced]